Little Pepper

So, here I am finally writing about our beloved doggie, Pepper. It's only been a month since she has been gone, but it feels like we said goodbye just yesterday. We miss her terribly. Boston keeps asking if he can go to heaven to visit her. He believes, Thor in heaven, is taking care of her... till we get old enough to go and visit her. Cue the tears!  Kids are so tender and creative. I believe she has chosen to come back as a dragon fly! I keep seeing one everywhere we go and Kris has started to see them too... The park, school, the doctors office, the store and while we are driving in the car - a dragonfly will randomly appear. I never used to see them that often, but almost everyday now, I notice a dragonfly on our journey - If anything the thought of her as a dragonfly, free and flying, makes me happy. 

While we were in the middle of our move, Pepper started to decline in health. She was struggling with confusing - not knowing where she was or where to go to the bathroom. She started having lots of accidents... which was frustrating, because at the time we were staying with my parents, while our new house (new to us) was being remodeled. I feel terrible about how frustrated I was with her... that guilt is still beating me up! I was so stressed with the move, being out of a house, and having our donor siblings in town and entertaining them, that I was so insensitive to what she must have been going through. She was in a home she didn't recognize, alone most of the time - since we were on the go, and when we were around at the house, we were so busy we didn't pay much attention to her. I wish I could say that her last few weeks were a lot better than that, if I could go back in time and change that, I would!

On the night before our donor family was leaving town, Pepper woke up in the middle of the night yelping like she was in a lot of pain. We had never heard her make a noise like that in all her 15 years. It terrified us. Kris ran her outside to let her go to the bathroom, but she ended up peeing all over Kris before he could get her outside. She struggled to walk around the grass and wasn't herself. We ended up taking her back to bed after awhile, to see if she would lay down and go back to sleep - Eventually she did, but it took her almost a half hour to calm down. Then, it happened again! This time it woke up Brooklyn (we were all in the same room) So, Kris took Pepper outside while I tried to get Brooklyn back to sleep. After Brooklyn went back down, I headed outside to check on Kris and Pepper. That is when I lost it - the tears flooded my eyes. Pepper was laying on the grass in a weird broken position, and looked dead. (Sorry for being so harsh) It was a horrible sight. I asked Kris if she was still with us? She was, but just barely. She was breathing really shallow and didn't want to move. It broke my heart seeing her like that. I wanted to take all her pain away. I started to blame myself for being so hard on her that last couple of weeks. I had lost my patience several times with her because of the accidents and wasn't very loving towards her. I felt like a monster. 

Because all the commotion was so loud that night, we had woken up my mom, Janette. She came outside to see if we were all ok. She was so sweet to care and be there for us. She told us about a emergency animal hospital down the road; we ended up taking Pepper there. This ended up being a terrible mistake, as soon as we walked in, all they wanted was $$. They didn't even care about our Pepper and the doctor was so super weird, I didn't get any good vibes from her, in fact she gave me the heebie-jeebies! She started telling us how they needed to do x-rays and blood work to try and figure out what was going on. With no guarantee of knowing what was wrong after all of the testing... all that poking and prodding and over $500 later... We didn't feel good about letting her/the clinic work on Pepper, so we decided in the morning we would take her to our normal vet in Draper, that has known her for 15 years.  (We were staying in Orem which is about 20 minutes away from where we live.)

We got her home and she started to act normal-ish, she still wasn't walking normal, but she would eat and drink. At some point we all went back to sleep and decided we would see how the morning went before we took her to the vet. In the morning, Kris took Pepper with him to our new house, so he could keep an eye on her while working on house projects. I was going to be out with the donor family on their last day here in Utah, we had made plans to go to Tibblefork Reservoir, but I told Kris that if Pepper started to act weird again or if something changed, call - and we would come straight there. 

We didn't make it to the Reservoir. Kris called and said Pepper was struggling a lot and could barely walk,  he thought it would be a good idea to take her into our Vet to get their opinion. Our donor family was nice to let Kris and I go alone with Pepper, and they stayed with the kids and kept them entertained. When we arrived at Lone Peak Vet, they had a room ready for us. The doctor knew Pepper really well, as did everyone who worked there, she was a well like doggie. She was known for looking like a little puppy, even though she was 15 years old, that's 105 in dog years! Everybody loves a puppy!

After the vet did a check up on Pepper, they came to the conclusion that she had most likely had a stroke - that is why she couldnt walk normal. Then we discussed the quality of life. This was the hardest part. After talking things out for well over an hour, we realized that her quality of life wasn't ever going to be the same, this would be her new norm. It broke our heart to come to the conclusion that it was time to say our last goodbye!  It's never easy to make that decision... In fact I would say its close to torture. 

Everyone from the Vet came in and said their final goodbyes and loved on Pepper, most of them with tears in their eyes - They all knew her so well and loved her as much as we did. They gave her a chocolate cupcake and crunch bar, because why not?! She loved it! She was always our chocolate loving dog... A girl after my own heart. (except we never "let" her eat chocolate - because it can harmful, but she would find her ways of getting around that. A girl will do what she has to do for chocolate... am I right??) We said our final goodbye and cried to the point of puffy eyes and red noses. We miss her and think about her everyday! 

Our last day with Pep

Our last day with Pep

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There’s something missing in my home, I feel it day and night. I know it will take time and strength, before thing feel quite right.

But just for now, I need to mourn. My heart - it needs to mend. Though some may say it’s “just a pet” I know I’ve lost a friend.
— Unknown
This is Pepper's plaque, with her paw print - I just picked it up and still need to get a picture of her put in it. The bottom plaque is our dog Crombie that passed away in 2012. We miss both of our doggies! I love that we have these plaques to remember them daily!  

This is Pepper's plaque, with her paw print - I just picked it up and still need to get a picture of her put in it. The bottom plaque is our dog Crombie that passed away in 2012. We miss both of our doggies! I love that we have these plaques to remember them daily!  

Diblings come to Utah

While we were in the middle of our move and remodel, we had some special visitors come into town from California and Florida. Boston & Brooklyn's donor siblings, Halle and Lucas! (And their awesome moms, of course! Sommer is Halle's mom and Betsy & Stephanie are Lucas' moms) It was such a fun experience seeing them all play and seeing their personalities shine. Lucas is almost a year younger than Boston and he is just as tall and strong! The two of them had a blast wresting and chasing after each other. It shocked me that Lucas ended up pinning Boston down, most of the time... and to give you an idea of the natural strength Lucas has... Boston is crazy strong and coordinated! It will be fun to see these two wrestle through the next several years!! Luckily Boston is a fast runner! And then there is Halle! She is smart, sweet and sassy all at the same time. I think she will keep the boys in check over the years. My heart truly melted seeing how much they love each other and especially Brooklyn. They were all obsessed with her!  We are so lucky to call them family! Here are some of our fun memories together!

First night together! (Kris and I came straight from working on the house) 

First night together! (Kris and I came straight from working on the house) 

All of them together on a ski lift at Snowbird. 

All of them together on a ski lift at Snowbird. 

All of us Momma's smiling through the chaos of four toddlers! 

All of us Momma's smiling through the chaos of four toddlers! 

Riding the gondola - a first for all of us!  

Riding the gondola - a first for all of us!  

Twins! 

Twins! 

These kids will move mountains! 

These kids will move mountains! 

Worn out from all the excitement  

Worn out from all the excitement  

Riding the lift to the slides! 

Riding the lift to the slides! 

Excited for the slide! 

Excited for the slide! 

Sisters having a moment

Sisters having a moment

Such a beautiful view. Inspiring! 

Such a beautiful view. Inspiring! 

Boston making friends with the pot-guts

Boston making friends with the pot-guts

24th of July at the parade! These 3 stole the show! 

24th of July at the parade! These 3 stole the show! 

She wins for having the cutest pout face! 

She wins for having the cutest pout face! 

Smiling through the heat! 

Smiling through the heat! 

Cooling down at the Liberty Park Splash Pad! 

Cooling down at the Liberty Park Splash Pad! 

Brotherly love!! 

Brotherly love!! 

Having the time of their lives! 

Having the time of their lives! 

Lucas checking on Brooklyn making sure she is having fun too! 

Lucas checking on Brooklyn making sure she is having fun too! 

Lucas & Halle

Lucas & Halle

Kris' turn to keep the babes entertained

Kris' turn to keep the babes entertained

Sharing strollers  

Sharing strollers  

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So many smiles shared

So many smiles shared

Fireworks for Pioneer Day! 

Fireworks for Pioneer Day! 

A day at the museum of natural curiosity! 

A day at the museum of natural curiosity! 

sisters at play

sisters at play

so focused

so focused

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they are all climbers

they are all climbers

and runners

and runners

Betsy leading a hike  

Betsy leading a hike  

Betsy and Stephanie trying to have a second of peace... 

Betsy and Stephanie trying to have a second of peace... 

Such a brave girl! 

Such a brave girl! 

Ice cream break

Ice cream break

Boston's Strider bike race

Boston's Strider bike race

He did great! 

He did great! 

Waiting for Boston at his Strider bike race

Waiting for Boston at his Strider bike race

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Draper Park after Boston Strider bike race

Draper Park after Boston Strider bike race

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It was an adventure everyday with these incredible diblings in town and there were lots of great memories made! Can't wait for next time! 

Trip to Boston

The end of a June, Kris had a conference in Boston that I got to tag along with. It was so fun to go back there and go to some of the places that will always hold a dear spot in my heart. We went to Cambridge, where we got married, of course. It was just as beautiful as I remembered. Fascinating fact, the beautiful lady who married us is now the Mayor of Cambridge. She was the first openly lesbian African-American mayor in the United States. 

I loved that the crosswalks just outside of Cambridge are rainbow now, best addition!

I loved that the crosswalks just outside of Cambridge are rainbow now, best addition!

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This makes me so happy to see. Important history if you ask me.

This makes me so happy to see. Important history if you ask me.

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It might not look like much, but this is the room where we got married. It will always be beautiful to me. 

It might not look like much, but this is the room where we got married. It will always be beautiful to me. 

Lucky to call him mine! 

Lucky to call him mine! 

At Harvard you must be ready to study hard.

At Harvard you must be ready to study hard.

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A huge highlight for me was going to a Red Sox Game! 

A huge highlight for me was going to a Red Sox Game! 

That a way Pedroia! 

That a way Pedroia! 

Sad I never got to see Ortiz play in person. 

Sad I never got to see Ortiz play in person. 

Missing my Boston Boy!

Missing my Boston Boy!

Found my sox!

Found my sox!

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Kris painting Boston something special while at Quincy Market.

Kris painting Boston something special while at Quincy Market.

A Masterpiece if you ask me!

A Masterpiece if you ask me!

They called this ice cream sandwich "The Green Monster"! It was seriously good! I could totally go for another right now!

They called this ice cream sandwich "The Green Monster"! It was seriously good! I could totally go for another right now!

This guy was crazy... talented, but crazy! Fun entertainment at Quincey Market. 

This guy was crazy... talented, but crazy! Fun entertainment at Quincey Market. 

One of my favorite Italian restaurants in Boston. (North End)

One of my favorite Italian restaurants in Boston. (North End)

This guy was the cutest. He played the accordion at the restaurant. 

This guy was the cutest. He played the accordion at the restaurant. 

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Modern Pastery is a must! 

Modern Pastery is a must! 

because... this!

because... this!

The buildings and history in Boston get me every time!

The buildings and history in Boston get me every time!

LOVE

LOVE

We didn't get to do the full freedom trail last time we were there, so I made that a priority this time. It is a must! Lots of walking, but totally worth it! 

We didn't get to do the full freedom trail last time we were there, so I made that a priority this time. It is a must! Lots of walking, but totally worth it! 

Insert your own caption

Insert your own caption

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I feel you momma duck!

I feel you momma duck!

My favorite!

My favorite!

The British are coming!

The British are coming!

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Paul Revere's house

Paul Revere's house

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It was a great trip. Totally needed before the move. Wish I could go back right now.