I think I will go ahead and start at the beginning of my relationship with Kris. (You can read about when I realized I was gay in my "ABOUT" section.)
Being as honest as I can be, Kris is the only "real" relationship I have ever been in. I had several little flings with guys before I met Kris, all of which made me feel something I didn't quite understand at the time. I always felt uncomfortable, uninterested, unlovable, and guilty with them. I would get so frustrated because I didn't know why I felt this way... with every single one of them. I would think these guys were so cute and get excited about them, but as soon as it would get romantic, like a kiss, I would get sick. I would seriously feel ill. I don't know why it would happen, but I guess I just felt wrong about it. I remember several times, with different guys, where I would brush my teeth again and again as soon as I would get home from being out with them. You get the point. I wanted them out of my mouth. With that being said, I could find them attractive and think they were amazing guys. So, why was there such a problem with the romance? I guess the best way that I can explain it is being with someone you don't want to be with (romantically). You just can't force things.
Let me fast forward past my childhood and straight to my high school years. This is where I met Kris. Kris was a teacher at my high school. I know! Don't judge me until you hear the whole story. During my junior year, my best friend at the time introduced me to Kris (Ms. Packer). My friend told me that I had to meet her favorite teacher and also convinced me to sign up for her class. I would be lying if I told you that I wasn't attracted to Kris at first sight. I had never seen or met anyone like her before. I, of course, signed up for the class and loved every minute of it. (I got pretty good at art.) Our relationship was pretty typical for a teacher and student.
The summer after I graduated, I finally told Kris that I was interested in dating her. She was pretty hesitant at first, for obvious reasons. I had just graduated from the school were she taught and didn't want people to think anything had happened while I was a student. (And it didn't, for the record!) But more than that, we have a big age difference between us - 18 years to be exact. I guess I was pretty convincing in the end, because we still started dating...secretly. At the time, neither one of us was out as gay, so our relationship was really slow-moving. I think that is what is so healthy about how it all started; neither one of us saw a need to rush anything. We were both trying to figure out how this relationship was going to work. We started off as great friends and it evolved naturally. I have to say though, I had never been so head-over-heels for someone. I had found my person. I felt complete. Looking back on all the heartache I had before this relationship, wishing I could find someone who made me feel the butterflies and not nausea, finally made sense. And it was worth it.