Some of you might have noticed that I have been missing for a while now. It’s been about 6 months since I have been out of touch with the social media world, trying to clear my head. I kind of got lost and overwhelmed. I was consumed with social media to the point where I lost touch with myself, so I made some major goals at the beginning of 2018 to rediscover myself, get healthy, and live my truth! It’s funny how when you take the time to make goals and rediscover yourself, the universe listens! ...and then it tests you in ways you can’t believe. Like you REALLY have to prove that you want the change. I have been working on being a better mom, better wife, better friend, and learning to love myself again, and it's been awesome! Hard, but awesome.
Life is a rollercoaster with so many highs and lows. I was stuck in a low and was ready for the ride to get going in the right direction again! I had never really read a self-help book before, but for Christmas Kris gave me this book called You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. Again, timing is everything (ah, life!). I thought, “Why not? I guess I could use some good reminders." I never guessed it would be just what I needed and was looking for. It totally gave me a kick in the butt in the right direction! I felt so inspired and more in-tune with myself than ever before. (It’s a must read for all!) In the midst of reading, I had the opportunity to heal my relationship with myself, as well as a few other people that had fallen out of my life. Honestly, my relationship with God...how do I put this...I was distracted, and it had started lacking. As you can probably guess, a major part of why my life got off track - why my ride of life was stuck at a low spot - was because I needed to remember my top priorities, like God!
In the book, Jen Sincero talks about loving yourself, doing things that make you happy, cutting ties with toxicity, turning off the 'BIG SNOOZE" and living your life for you, with God (or the universe, or source energy, or whatever YOU may call it) as your compass. Before the read, I felt like I was at a place of bashing myself, feeling worthless, always less than perfect, and snoozing my life away. My energy was low. I needed to wake up! But instead, I was using social media, like Instagram, to help numb my pain and distract me. In reality, I can see so clearly now that it was just adding to my pain and causing other problems. I would look at everyone else's life and see all of the great things that they were doing and feel so happy for them, and then I would immediately turn to myself, my life, and reflect on how I wasn't doing those things myself. I would immediately get depressed or anxious and feel like a failure! I was snoozing and I knew it! I was far from being present. I was constantly living in the future, trying to control the unknown, or living in my past, a place I can't change and usually brought up depressed feelings. I was ready for a change; I wanted to be present and find peace, but I didn't know how. I was stuck and needed direction. Jen Sincero helped me see what needed to change and how to do it. She totally walked me through so many great examples of how to wake up and become a badass! I feel like she shared the secret I was dying to hear - I was NEEDING to hear! I felt enlightened on SO many levels, like I had just been to church (the kind that gets you and loves you no matter what). I finally felt reconnected to God. I had so many "aha" moments! I kept feeling like, "Wow! I can't believe all of these coincidences!" It's was amazing! I feel that by turning off the distractions, reading some new books, re-introducing yoga into my life, and putting what I learned from Jen Sincero and several other authors (including Brene Brown and Carol Tuttle) into effect, and talking things out with my closest and wisest girlfriends has got me back on track and heading in the right direction. As I plan to return to social media, it will be with my new mindset of balance and moderation.
I am so grateful for the hard stuff that I have had to learn/relearn, and will continue to appreciate the learning process (as much as I hate it at the same time). I realize now, more than ever, that that is how we continue to grow. I have come to the understanding that if I want to feel alive, happy, and like I have a purpose, I have to keep pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, surrender to the unknown, and enjoy the ride - I have to find peace in the present and except what I can't control, I have to love and appreciate what I have right here and right now. This how you turn off the "BIG SNOOZE!" and reconnect!
Thank you for letting me share this! I know it is lengthy and full of a lot of my feelings and opinions, but it felt great to share it with you! Hope you found some connection or take-away.